(I’ll preface this with a shout-out to Grumpy Scorpio, as parts of this were inspired by my recent conversation with her about living the Scorpio life. :))
Creep. Stalker. Freak. What do these words have in common? They’re all commonly used to describe Scorpios and contribute to a negative stereotype of them. People tend to think of Scorpios as a lot rougher and scarier than they really are. Yes, it’s oft-repeated that Scorpios have deep emotions, but Scorpios’ emotions are often portrayed as only being hateful, angry, and possessive.
There’s a story behind these stereotypes, for sure – Scorpio is the sign who wants to expose the truth in the world and tear away deception, and for that reason, Scorpios are honest with themselves about their feelings. Therefore, when a Scorpio is angry, they are going to own that anger. Because Scorpios vigorously psychoanalyze themselves and therefore are usually very self-aware, they are comfortable indulging in whatever emotion comes to them, whether it be fury, joy, grief, or fear.
But rather than just talking about how angry Scorpios can be, it’s important to understand the other side of them. Scorpios live a life of extremes. So, yes, they can be extremely angry when they’re on a low, but what about when they’re on a high? What about when they’re in love? What about when they’re really, truly happy?
Scorpios are a lot more than the negative reputation that surrounds them. I’m going to break down some of the very sensitive qualities that Scorpio possesses, which few people know about (which has a lot to do with the fact that Scorpios hide these things.)
Scorpios are afraid, of a multitude of things. I’ve talked before about how paranoid Scorpios are, and why they are so paranoid, but there’s another acute fear they have – being alone. Not being understood. Not being loved back as much as they love.
Yes, Scorpios need alone time, but more than any sign, they don’t want to live alone in their heads. Even though they may fight it every waking moment of their lives, Scorpio secretly desires nothing more than to fully let someone in, something that is very hard for them to do. They are so afraid that they will never find this hypothetical person (or people) whom Scorpio can truly be fully honest with. Scorpio’s greatest desire is to totally fuse with someone else. They crave deep human connection, to know and to be known totally. They live for this. They live for the moments in life when somebody trusts them enough to strip away their mask and show Scorpio who they really are inside. They live for deep conversations. They live for the people they feel comfortable enough around to actually speak aloud the secrets they hold so close to their heart. Scorpios live their life constantly in search of these kinds of connections, and are scared they will never make them.
Scorpios are also afraid that the people they love don’t love them back the same way. Scorpios are wells of intense love and deep devotion. They place their objects of affection on pedestals, and fall in love with everything about them. A Scorpio’s mind is an extensive library of information they’ve picked from those they love. They could write a whole book on the color of their lover’s eyes. They can obsess for hours over the beauty of another’s mind. They ride their close friends’ waves of emotions right along with them. Scorpios will constantly find themselves being elated and depressed on the behalf of those close to them. When Scorpios fall into this kind of adoration, they are afraid that it is not reciprocated. They are afraid their analytic, obsessive love will not be understood or well-received. They are afraid to let others know how they really feel, because they are so sure that others do not feel the same way. Scorpios see so many beautiful details in the world and in humanity, but they restrict themselves from sharing it because they are afraid of coming on too strong.
Because Scorpios overcompensate in this way, they may seem “cold” to some. But the fact is that Scorpio is a searing, fiery heart, but a heart that is in chains. Scorpios cannot do anything without first thinking it over, without first analyzing the possible consequences. There is no such thing as an offhanded “I love you” for a Scorpio, even if it’s to a purely platonic friend. Everything is planned out in the Scorpio’s mind. They want so much to show the affection they are secretly overflowing with, but it’s very hard for them. They are restrained by the ropes they tie themselves. Scorpios are idealists in love and friendship, and obsess over making their relationships perfect. Therefore, they can’t do or say anything without questioning if it’s the right time and place for it. And if they don’t think the words or actions will be well-received, then they won’t even bother trying. They struggle with feelings of wanting to let others know how much they mean to the Scorpio, but they are terrified that their sentiments will be met with misunderstanding, or even worse, indifference. The last thing Scorpio wants in their life is indifference.
Scorpios have a reputation for being jealous and possessive. It is true that Scorpios can get quite jealous. It is never over another person’s life or possessions, though. It is always over the relationship one person has with another. Scorpios are the most jealous lovers and the most possessive friends. But what is this jealousy borne of? It is not anger, as so many think. It is fear and insecurity. Scorpios only get possessive of people they deeply value, people they have already made a strong commitment to. Someone whose emotional wavelengths they live on. And Scorpios cannot stand the idea that the object of their affection has a commitment that is less than theirs. When Scorpios see someone they love having a great time without them, their heart does not explode with rage. It cracks in half. They are terrified of being forgotten. They are terrified that they are not enough to the one they love. And all Scorpio wants is to be the home, the partner, the confidante of this particular person or people. Scorpio loves very few people, and so the people they do love are very important to them. Scorpios want nothing more than to be everything the people they love need. And so Scorpio’s insecurity is quickly ignited when they see evidence of something that suggests that perhaps they are not needed. That perhaps someone can do it better than them. That Scorpio’s love and emotion is simply not enough.
A lot of Scorpios hide their jealousy and clinginess, because many of them realize how ridiculous it is, and don’t want to be a burden to those they love. They also don’t want anyone to know how vulnerable they really are, how just a lover or friend looking at someone a certain way can wound a Scorpio’s ego. With all the fronts they put up, Scorpios have incredibly fragile hearts, and need constant reaffirmation that they are loved, appreciated, and “special.” Scorpios need those close to them to confirm that the Scorpio’s unique heart and mind is appreciated, because this is what the Scorpio feels it is.
However, Scorpios also go through periods of intense self-loathing. Being self-aware swings both ways; they are obsessed with what they see to be their redeeming qualities, but they can’t escape the feeling that their possessiveness and jealousy hurt the ones they love. Scorpios can hate themselves for having these emotions, for being so hypersensitive. While sometimes Scorpios are pretentious about their supposedly “deep” emotions that they think nobody else feels, they just as often despise these deep emotions, and figure that everyone would probably just be better off if Scorpio wasn’t so damn attached and needy. Nobody simultaneously loves and hates themselves as much as Scorpios do. They try to swallow the bitterness they feel and get over themselves, but they find it hard to do so. Scorpios are constantly undergoing internal battles that few are privy to. Scorpio doesn’t like to talk about these feelings with others because they feel that nobody really needs to know, and they’ll just end up bothering anyone they confide in.
Despite all this, however, if a Scorpio can try to overcome their jealousy and be with someone who at least makes an attempt to understand it, they can be the most loyal people in the world. What happens when a secret Scorpio love becomes not-so-secret anymore? What happens when Scorpio finally opens their heart and trusts someone enough to show them honest affection? Amazing things happen. Dedicated secret-keepers (as they are so used to keeping their own), Scorpios make the best of confidantes, and will take their loved ones’ secrets to the grave. They are very understanding friends, and will never judge anyone for any feelings they may have. Scorpios understand better than anyone what it’s like to have deep feelings, and they are the last people who will be judgmental of another person’s emotions. Not only can Scorpios handle it, but they want to see the dark side of people. They find it fascinating, and they build their homes there. Scorpio encourages their loved ones not to be afraid or ashamed of the dark secrets they carry in their heart, because Scorpio knows how hard it is to carry such secrets. Scorpios feel that they are not alone when they are privy to others witnessing their secrets. And this is why a Scorpio will be able to listen to you talk and talk for hours without getting bored or wanting to change the conversation to themself – because they see whole worlds in the words that their loved ones speak, and it’s an adventure in itself for the Scorpio to hear these secret words wash over them. There is nothing more honorable to a Scorpio than being a trusted confidante. That’s what makes them the best of shoulders to cry on, and the best of companions in times of darkness.
When Scorpios trust someone to be receptive of their emotion, they shower that person with affection. The one loved by a Scorpio will constantly be deep-sea diving in the endless ocean of Scorpio’s love. The Scorpio will always be doing and saying things that show their love. Scorpios notice everything, and they will show it. They will memorize all the details of the person they love, and do their best to be the person that person needs. They will give up everything for the person they love. And unless the trust has been broken, that Scorpio is there for life. Scorpio is there past death.
So, maybe some Scorpios do seem cold. And the emotion in lower-evolved Scorpios can manifest in negative ways, making them snappish and angry. But for most Scorpios, they are just people full of overwhelming love they feel they have to hide. Love they feel is just better kept to themselves. Love they are scared of showing. Scorpios are much more sensitive than people understand them to be, and they are just waiting for the day they can fully express this side of themselves.