It is not necessarily unfaithfulness and disputes that lead to a separation of love. Indeed, there are gestures that we women believe to be good for our life as a couple. Yet these gestures are like a time bomb in our relationship. But what are we talking about, exactly? We talk about curiosity.
Anxious or curious: What is the difference?
Women often have this tendency to want to know everything. This is not a defect. It’s even considered a quality. However, wanting to know everything can have a very negative impact in a relationship.
All men appreciate when we care about them and how they feel. Nevertheless, men do not really appreciate being intruded a little too much into their personal intimacy. More concretely, jostling them and insisting on their feelings can hurt them. And that could push them to retreat on themselves.
So, in a relationship, you have to differentiate between being curious and being concerned. You are concerned when you first consider your spouse and what he may feel before acting. You are curious to the extent that you want (at all costs) to know what is troubling your partner, without thinking of anything else.
You still do not know the difference? Still wondering why being curious or anxious can save your marriage, or, on the contrary, lead to a romantic separation? You will understand better by reading the following.
When your curiosity becomes a problem
Understanding men remains a challenge. You have to know that men can be of a changing nature. Their behavior in the face of a problem can change overnight.
Sometimes they confide in us of their own free will, and at other times they prefer to confine themselves to themselves and not to talk about things that disturb them. Also, during a couple quarrel, they can openly say what they are feeling, or, on the contrary, can fall back on themselves.
Since women are curious in nature, they do not always tolerate being sidelined. We absolutely want to know what our partner thinks or feels in his moments of silence. We say we need to talk about it and we insist on getting answers.
Discussing can certainly solve the situation. But your partner may not be ready to talk about how he feels. And it is precisely here that curiosity becomes a source of problems. It can make things worse, forcing your partner to retreat.
Imagine that when you argue, you almost always reconcile the next day. But this time, it’s been four days since your partner made your head. And he seems to be determined to make this silence last. Curious, you only want to know what happens to him. And here you bombard him with a ton of questions and comments:
- ” What is happening ? “
- “Why are you still angry? “
- “Do not behave like a child! “
- ” It’s ridiculous ! “
- “You do not want to talk to me anymore, are you? “
- “I do not understand why you make a story! “
- “I’m fed up with you doing my head! “
And so on.
Most often, you will receive the famous answer that stirs your curiosity: ” Nothing “. When you hear that, you tend to ask more questions:
- “If there is nothing, then why do you continue to make head? “
- ” Nothing ? I see that there is something! “
- ” Are you kidding me ? “
- “So, why do not you talk to me? “
And so on.
Sometimes he gets carried away and yells at you. The argument then resumes again, and you find yourself in square one.
Your partner shut up on himself. Your curiosity will not help things. This will only push him to withdraw more, which will certainly cause a change in his feelings, as well as his behavior towards you.
In addition to arguments , your partner could also change his behavior because of a problem at work, a difficult situation with his family … Overnight, you notice that it is not the same. Concerned about your couple, you want to know what’s going on.
But, he does not say anything, or he dodges the subject. Curious, you insist that he confide in you because you think you are the only one who can help him. By insisting, either you create a fight or you push him to entrench more.
On the way to the breakup
Your partner does not say anything. You go out of your way to tell him what he feels inside of him. In a relationship, the pressure is not always well perceived in men. Insisting that he entrust you with his feelings could have the opposite effect.
In other words, you believe that putting pressure on him will make him confide in you. But it is likely to sink deeper into the bottom of the bag. It can go so far that the communication between you can be permanently altered, to the point of causing, in the long run, a separation love.
On the other hand, trying to make him say what he feels could directly lead to arguments. And by that, I mean that everyone is going to make the head, in his corner, for a long time. Your partner will return to square one: to close on himself.
Of course, when your partner turns back on himself, that does not mean that you are heading straight for a breakup . If you do not know how to deal with this situation, you will run straight to a relationship full of communication problems and misunderstanding. This will then lead to quarrels, which will turn into intolerance.
How to avoid breaking your relationship?
Because of their pride and pride, men hate being harassed, even on something you think is minimal. If you do not want to have a romantic breakup, you must be careful to balance your actions when he decides to take refuge in himself.
If you fall back on yourself, do not try to make him say what he feels or thinks. Ask him a simple question. Show him that you know he’s not doing well. For that, it is enough to say to him phrases like: ” I find you worried “, ” you seem preoccupied “, ” is everything all right? », Etc …
Your behavior and your tone also play an important role in pushing him to open up to you. Do not hesitate to decorate your remark by adding words of love, or by calling him by his favorite nickname. Similarly, talk to him with a nice smile, to show him that you are worthy of his trust and that you are willing to support him.
If he always answers: ” nothing “, do not insist. Brighten him up with something he likes to show him that you support him. Be patient. Sooner or later, it will eventually open up to you.
You know now that curiosity can, to a great extent, become a great defect, and may lead to a separation of love. Learn how to be patient, stimulate your partner and trust him so that he can always trust you.
PS: I hope I helped you to (a little) better understand the men.
Like you, I have often been frustrated by men, the game of seduction, relationships …
Like you, I have often asked myself these questions:
” What is he thinking about? ”
” What’s really expected of me? ”
” Why did he leave? “…