I had to write this article because I get angry at how people are trying to find a long-term relationship. Something is up in the air and is completely wrong in the way we approach and handle the process.
I had to put the pen on paper to get that burden off my mind and to have an honest and open discussion about what might prevent you from finding true love.
I write this with my best intentions and not as a way to berate you, but to help you. I get so angry when I see others repeating mistakes I’ve made and I do not want you to waste your time, your body or your soul on unworthy people.
Ok, the soul may be a little over the top, but now that I have caught your attention, let’s continue this conversation.
Here are 10 dating mistakes that you should stop doing if you want a long-term relationship:
1. Forget the timing
Yes, there are people you will meet at the wrong time. There are several reasons why you can not be together. Either these people are in a relationship or are just not ready to settle down.
Yes, I understand all these things, but they all have the same meaning. Nevertheless, I want you to think of one thing. Time is something you can not undo. And you unnecessarily waste it on someone who is not as available to you as you need.
So, please stop focusing on those who are not able to be what you need when you need them. Let them go. The more energy, time, and effort you waste on them, the more it will prevent you from getting on. And I love that quote: “Sometimes it’s the best feeling to be single.” Remember it and leave with pride the people who do not deserve you!
2. Stop having sex with everyone and right at the beginning of the relationship
In the past, men deserved to go to bed with you. They had to seduce and impress you. And when other guys fought for you, it added value and they wanted you more. That is, they have not withdrawn, but have improved their game.
I know that we are not in the 40s or 50s but 2018, but I really do not care. Since sex is so easily accessible in any form, it is underrated and taken for granted. One night stands have become so common that it is perfectly normal to go to bed with someone just hours after getting to know each other.
You know what it’s like to be able to have something all the time, and thus less coveted. I think that’s why people find it so hard to settle down. In that case, your mind can not decide which way is the right one.
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I realize that you want to have fun now and then, but you have to change your behavior. Appreciate your body and pay attention to who you share it with. In this case, I also speak of men. Because both sexes have to be careful. Having more sex is not always the best option because it can suppress your ability to have a real connection with someone.
3. “I want to give you a massage”
Please never believe in these fairy tales. Because in this way, a man just wants to get you to bed. If that’s what you want to do, then it’s fine. But be very careful if you are not trying to have sex and get a massage, go to your masseur until you decide if you want to sleep with this man.
4. “I like you, but …….”
But what? Whenever someone ends a sentence with “but” after telling you that he likes you, then he wants to tell you that he does not like you enough. You have to know that you are too valuable and too worthy for this kind of conversation. Do not limit your options to someone who is not ready to make you a priority.
5. Stop clinging to the same methods of dating activities
Do you spend all the time with a dating app, or do you always go to the same bars, restaurants or clubs?
If you want to get to know someone, I will encourage you to do something pretty simple. Do things that are fun for you. Get in touch with who you are and with activities that make you happy. Because if you are happier, you are more attractive to other people.
The only downside is that when your activities focus on activities that keep you constantly at home or doing things that will not give you access to the other or the same gender. In that case you need to broaden your horizons.
Sometimes go out alone. There’s a better chance someone will approach you when you’re alone than with your friends. Or go to someone who interests you and compliment him.
You can never be sure how a man will react, because he may think that you are outside his league and is glad that you have taken the first step. When you approach him first, it releases the tension and that is a courageous move that is often respected.
6. Do you like a certain guy?
I’m sure you do. Because most of us have a clear idea of what your partner should look like. Is he attractive, blonde, brunette, red-haired, muscular, funny, or funny? I’m sure he has to have all if not 99% of those qualities. Now comes my next question:
How did dating work with your dream man? Did your past relationships fail when you tried to find your type of man?
Smart Dating is about getting out of the comfort zone. It means being open to those who can appear in your life but are not necessarily your type. In these cases, the universe will put you to the test. Sometimes what you are looking for in a perfect man will appear in a package that looks completely different from what you expected or wanted.
Your most important task is to focus on what kind of person this man is and how he will fit into your life.
7. Stop planning in advance
If you are a person who needs to know everything about their relationship and easily ties to a man or falls in love quickly, then this advice is for you.
You have to learn to enjoy your life. The best relationships arise spontaneously and you do not have to think about that much. Go on a date, have fun, relax and enjoy the moment. Allow things to develop naturally.
If someone tells you that he likes you, then relax and if you like him too, that will be perfect. But please stop trying too hard at the beginning of the relationship and try not to understand everything within a few days. Because love requires a lot of time.
8. Observe more than you speak
It’s exciting to meet someone you like. It’s like a jolt of adrenaline and can make you feel like a love junkie. But before you fall in love, you have to relax.
I want you to do some things. Watch the person. Ask many questions. Learn what’s important to her. Find out if you two are on the same wavelength. Look beyond what is obvious. Is this man a good person? Is he treating you well?
It is strange, but often we condemn the people who are honest and kind to us, but on the other hand, we always look for excuses for the bad behavior of idiots. It’s almost as if we were set to put bad behavior above good behavior. Embrace the nice guy and take stock if someone who is interested in you has really good qualities and constantly demonstrates them to you.
9. You think that a man will treat you differently
If I had gotten 1 euro for every person I talked to about relationships and who told me that although she had a bad past with her ex-boyfriend, she would treat him differently, now I would be the richest woman of the family World.
The strange thing about humans is that, if you listen carefully, they will tell you exactly who they are as a person. And you have to believe them! If they say that they tend to bind hard, it is probably true.
If they say they like to keep their options open, so too. If you ask the right questions and listen attentively, it is as if they are telling you what happened in their previous relationships, or there will be clear indications.
If there are many bad experiences and crazy partners in the past in people’s lives, then you have to call that a big warning signal. Both you and I have had some bad relationships, but if someone keeps having bad relationships, you have to go the other way. The past has a strange way of repeating itself, especially in relationships.
10. You think that what you see on social media with other couples is real and compares with them
First, no matter how great a relationship is, each of them has some problems. This is because we are human and not perfect, which naturally translates into our relationships with others. Second, most couples will only post their happy moments of relationship. This is a social thing and everyone wants what they show on the social networks to admire other people. We are somehow selfish in this way.
So, now that you know that, stop comparing your relationship and being jealous of other couples because the reality is you just never know what’s going on between two people . Instead, focus on finding and developing a relationship that has a dynamic that meets your needs. I promise you that it will make you happier and it will help you to have a better relationship if you focus on yourself and your partner.
It does not matter if you’ve done one of those 10 dating mistakes, because you’re not the only one. But now that you know what you can do better, it’s important to correct yourself.This will help you to data in a wiser way and above all to focus your energy on a man with whom you can build something authentic and long lasting.