Your first question when you stumble on to somebody who has a guarded personality might be: “What is wrong with this person?”.
May I share a little secret? There is nothing wrong with guarded people now. It’s just that their past made them that way.
A person with a guarded personality might have discomfort in showing affection towards you or anybody else. It’s just that (s)he doesn’t really feel like hugging you nor being too close. When you hug a person, you are promising comfort and perhaps friendship intentionally and a guarded person is pretty much aware of it. It might be the case that (s)he refuses to bond with you in such a way because she’s running away from any close affection.
Also, people who are considered as loners might just be people with a guarded personality.
See, they are selectively social, they might hang around you, but only as long as they are comfortable around you. The thing is they don’t really like to waste their energy nor time on people that don’t matter that much to them. They choose their friends wisely and they might be perceived as social loners.
A bit paradoxical, I know.
It’s just that they are social, but only when they chose to be so.
People with a guarded personality are often mysterious but not intentionally. They don’t like sharing their privacy with anybody, and they rarely invite you to their world. There is a certain zone which can never be crossed because they like to shield themselves.
The truth is, they don’t want you to be interested in their life; it’s not the reason they behave the way they behave.
You get as much cake as they let you. You’ll probably have a rough time finding any info about them on social media and don’t even try bugging their friends to ask for any info. You will be denied it.
Your only opportunity to know what’s going on in their world will be when, and if, they decide to let you in.
They are, most often, scared of their own emotions. They perceive the world in a bit different way. They have incredibly intense emotions and often so many questions in their head that they’re afraid of showing to others.
It’s like a small universe inside their heads.
It even gets worse when they hide their feelings and stop them from getting out. Once their emotions find a way to come to light, it’s like a volcanic eruption and you’ll probably get surprised by it.
Guarded persons are comfortable on their own. That’s the main reason you can’t buy them with promises or sweet talk. They’ve seen that one too many times in their lives. What you can do is show in your actions all those things you’ve promised and you might even get a chance to be welcomed into their mysterious world.
Because of the previous experience they had with other people, guarded ones are capable of reading your intentions easily. So, if you have something sneaky in mind, you should just move along.
The problem is, they don’t instantly see your good intentions, only the bad ones. Even if they notice your good emotions instantly, it’s highly unlikely they’ll react to them. It’s just that the dose of distrust is always boiling in them and it takes time for them to get used to other people.
What everybody fails to understand is that guarded people are not born like that. They are the very consequence of their past and everything they have been through. It’s a long process of betrayal and disappointment in others that brought them to the spot they are to be found in today.
Deep down, they still have love for others. They are funny and extremely sociable, but only if you’re worthy. If they get to know you and decide not to welcome you into their lives, it’s because they see you for who you truly are.
However, if you are among those lucky ones to be welcomed into their world, then you have an opportunity to mean the world to them, but only if you deserve it.
What would never be forgiven is your betrayal of them. If you get to that spot of trust with them, then you’re among the few privileged ones and you shouldn’t take advantage of it.
Your kindness is more than welcomed, but don’t push it. Let things fall into their places and be the backbone to a guarded person. Only then, you’ll truly gain a life companion for a lifetime.