One of our biggest problems as a society, is that we have created this version of love that is pure, and unconditional, and absolutely unrealistic. The thing with love is, like everything else, like US, it is imperfect. And it is supposed to be imperfect. Love isn’t flawless and it isn’t meant to be as we are flawed creatures. How can we love each other flawlessly if we are so flawed ourselves.
So if you are expecting this glamourised version of love that is sold by Hollywood movies, or even Bollywood movies, I recommend you sit back, take a deep breath and look at the way you love people first. I gaurentee you the way you love someone isn’t a hundred percent the way they want to be loved. Somewhere along the way even you fall short. And the funny thing is, you may think you are loving them perfect, because it is the best way you know how. This is what leads to arguments and breakups. Unable to understand that people have different love languages and each love language has a different expectation. In our modern society, there is a need, more than ever today to realise that:
a) Love, even the way you love someone, is not flawless.
b) You are not entitled to someone’s love.
Let me explain. Love is beautiful. But it also requires, work, adjustment, understanding and establishing boundaries, communication. So when you start taking the love that is in your life for granted, you completely disregard the hard work they are doing to understand and love you. The amount of effort they are putting into understanding your flaws. And most importantly, you are taking for granted the kind and good things they are doing for you.
Being entitled in a relationship comes across as thinking you are better than the person who is loving you. That the person who loves you is expendable. That you do not need to work as hard as them because they are replaceable and you can get another person to love you like they do easily. And it is by far one of the most hurtful things you can do in a relationship, taking someone’s love for granted.
You are not better or worse than anyone. And the people you love are not above being temporary if you do not appreciate or care for them. That version of love where someone loves someone else unrequited whilst the other person does whatever they want is nothing but a movie formula. And even in the movies, the person who is fooling around realises what they have lost once it’s gone and go chasing after it.
So love the people in your life that are giving you the love you need. Love them well, love them hard.
Almost everyone you know is going to be temporary in your life. The only thing you can control is how well they remember you when they go. How well they remember you appreciated them before they go.