As Christian women, we long for our husbands to take the lead in our homes. We want them to lead our families spiritually – praying with us and for us, opening up the Bible with the kids and initiating spiritual conversations.

But what if he doesn’t?


Pray for him – One of the most powerful things you can do for your husband right now is to pray for him. Pray for his leadership, pray for his heart to desire God. The Scripture talks about leadership qualities in Titus 1:7-9.

“For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.
He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.”

— TITUS 1:7-9

I encourage you to pray these qualities over your husband consistently. While you’re at it, also pray for guidance on how God can use you to encourage you husband specifically.

To help you pray for your husband, I have these prayer prompts excerpted from our all-new Indwelt Bible Study Guide (Zealous: Ready for Good Works as a Wife + Mom).

Check your own actions/speech – I want you to take a moment and humbly examine your own actions and speech towards your husband. Ask God to reveal to you if you’ve been demeaning, nagging, disrespectful towards your husband. Sometimes the reason why a man doesn’t lead is because whenever he attempts to lead, he’s met with criticism and discouragement from his wife, and so he quits trying. So I encourage you to seek God humbly and see if you’ve been discouraging your husband from leading. If God does reveal to you your sin in this area, I pray that you will find the boldness and the humility to confess to your husband and seek forgiveness.

Let go of your expectations – Sometimes we may not recognize our husbands’ leadership when we’re so focused on how we think they should lead. Take a step back, surrender your expectations to God and become a student of your husband’s. Find out what his leadership style is and encourage him as he leads.

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