I never understood how can you love someone a little, with parts of your heart and bits of your soul? I was never able to measure the amount of love I give to someone. That’s just not me.
When I love, I’m all in—heart, body, and soul.
I know that I get hurt easily because of that. I know that wearing my heart on my sleeve makes me a perfect target for toxic men but I can’t help it. I’m just wired that way.
I do more than just fall in love. I run into it. I run into love, and I hope that the other side feels the same, that they’ll run towards me and that somehow we’ll collide.
I choose to give the benefit of the doubt to the person I fall for. I choose to trust that their intentions are good and that they wouldn’t deliberately hurt me.
I avoid stressing about all the things that could go wrong. Instead, I focus on everything that could go right, and I take all the risks that come along with that.
I fall into the midst of love, and all I see is their laugh, their strong points and the way they make me feel. I see their flaws, too, but I don’t focus on them. I love in spite of them because in a way, we are all flawed.
I’ve never been good at playing games. Strategizing my every move. Thinking who sent the first text, who said what who’s done more. For me, that’s tiring and unnecessary.
I follow my feelings. I say what I want to say. I text when I feel like it. I always give more, and I know it’s hard to keep up with that, but I do expect at least half of what I give in return.
But it seems this modern dating wasn’t made for the likes of me. I hate messing with other people’s minds. I hate pretending.
I would never be a good actress because I can’t pretend that I don’t care when I do.
I was not made for almost relationships, casual hookups, and half-loves. I want something meaningful. I want something real. I want love—true, untainted love.
I want the passion that consumes. I want somebody honest who will respect me and treat me right. I want someone I can trust.
I want someone to share my world with. I want someone who is as invested as I am in making things work. Someone who is not afraid to commit and be in a relationship.
I want someone genuine and kind, and I’m not settling for anything less.
I don’t know where he is, but I do believe that he is somewhere out there. I believe that in this sea of wrong men, there is one worthwhile, and he is made just for me.
I can’t settle for mediocre love. I refuse to do that.
And though many people will call me naive and foolish, I don’t care. I really don’t have a choice because I don’t know to love with any less than everything I’ve got, and I am ready to wait for someone who knows how to love the same way.