Today, I wanna give you practical ideas on how to pursue your husband and keep the sparks alive.
PS Some of these links may be affiliated which means I earn a commission at no cost to you should you make a purchase via the link. All opinions are 100% my own.
1) Put your pointing finger down. You can’t pursue your husband if you’re too busy pointing out his flaws.
2) Lay yourself down. This is about you pursuing your husband as his wife, not about how well he’s doing pursuing you. Your marriage will not grow if you’re always keeping score.
3) Pray. Pray for God to help you, to open your eyes to see him how God sees him.
4) Find out what his love language is and speak it at least once a week.
5) Thank him – for his leadership, his sacrifices, his love and service.
6) Encourage him. He needs reminders from you (whose opinion he values a lot) that he’s doing a great job and on the right track. I have a fun freebie for you right here if you need help with some encouraging verbiage.
7) Study him. You can’t pursue him if you don’t know anything about him. Observe him, ask questions, learn a new thing about him every month. For starters, I have some questions typed up for you so you can ask meaningful questions and learn more about him. Download it for free here.
8) Do things with him. Men and women bond very differently. Women bond over conversations while men bond over doing things together. Find something that he enjoys doing and do it with him – with a joyful heart.
9) Laugh with him. Think about how fun it was to laugh with him when you were dating. Do something that’s fun for both of you – watch movies, play board games, people-watching, surf Pinterest (I have a board on Pinterest just for funny things, check it out here), whatever.
10) Serve him. How can you make his day easier? Take care of a chore he hates? Stock his favorite beer? Give him a massage? Pursue him through acts of service.
11) Love his family. Is there someone on his side of family you can love on? It can be as simple as making a phone call and catching up with them. Or it could be sending them a care package. His family makes up a big part of who he is, you can show your appreciation to your husband through loving the people who brought him up.
12) Give him grace. While we all want our husbands to lead well, they are not perfect. They fall, they mess up, they make stupid mistakes. But because of Jesus, there’s grace for that. Give him the grace he needs and make your marriage a safe place he can be vulnerable in.
13) Initiate in the bedroom. Men and women are wired differently. He will appreciate it a lot if you’d initiate. (If you’d like a book on this topic, check out For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. It helped me a ton in understanding how Grant’s mind works)
14) Satisfy his appetite. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I didn’t realize how true this is until I got married. Give him his favorite food and you will have his attention. (Here’s my Pinterest food board if you need new food ideas.)
15) Prioritize date night. Always put your husband before your kids – that means protecting the time you have with your husband. Schedule a weekly date night and don’t talk about the kids during date night. We’ve got 52 fun date night ideas for you right here.
16) Give him your full attention when he speaks. This gets harder and harder in such a digital world but this tell him, “you’re important. I’m listening.” Your phone can wait.
17) Greet him joyfully when he comes home. A warm welcome lights up any heart. Period.
18) Surprise him. Surprises take planning and thoughts – it’s a good way to tell him “I was thinking of you and I wanna put a smile on your face.” A few ideas on surprising him: drop by his workplace at lunch, plan a child-free night just for you two, or give him a trip to see his best buddies who live afar.
19) Pray with him and for him. Have prayer time together. Be his prayer warrior and lift him up in your prayers. God works mightily when prayers come from a covenant He united.
20) Be there for him. There’s gonna be ups and downs in life. Stand alongside your husband, be there for him; don’t turn your back on him. Let him know you will walk through the valley with him hand in hand.